Everyone is hate-watching Indian matchmaking, the new Netflix documentary. Friends—mostly in their late 20s and 30s—have so far described it as "cringe-worthy"," a car crash" and "stereotypical." Yet, they have all binged on the first season. I can already feel that a lot will be written about the show—first in horror and later in defence.

So far, I am hooked. Currently ranked #3 on Netflix India, the series is about a Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia who guides clients in India and the US in the arranged marriage process. We see wealthy, successful men and women—mostly in their 30s—talk candidly about their loneliness and inability to find a partner. 

While "aunty" Sima has annoyed Indian viewers with her obsession with fair skin, I can’t help but think what a blessing such traditional matchmakers can be for those trying to find long-term relationships in today's messy, tech-driven dating world. 

Most of Sima’s clients have turned to her only after trying everything from personal network to dating websites. But, despite their initial reluctance, she seems to bring a lot to the table. “If someone can study my personality, and find the perfect person for me and curate that, then why not?” says Manisha from North Carolina in E04, and it does make sense. 

Some new science fiction shows—such as Upload on Amazon Prime—imagine what dating might look like in a few decades if we let apps control that aspect of our lives entirely. It is not a pretty picture, and sadly, not unrealistic either. Maybe it is not a bad idea to have a wise, flawed, human “aunty” as part of the process as well. Here are my top reasons: 

You can pick only one at a time

Sima presented New Jersey-based Nadia with profiles of three suitable men but asked her to meet only one of them. She asks the event-planner to come back to her only if things fail with her first choice. In the case of Aparna, a client she found “fickle”, Sima began with one profile at a time. It is a pretty good rule. Dating apps give us endless choices, but that may be also ruining modern romance, pushing us to reject people too quickly. What if the next one is perfect, we are left wondering. 

As scientists have studied for decades now, too many options can be paralysing, causing anxiety and even unhappiness. 

Go beyond your comfort zone

Indian Matchmaking brings out a lot of ugly aspects of arranged marriages, from colourism to casteism. But it also shows the custom is evolving to meet the needs of modern, urban millennials. Middle-aged Sima, despite her conservative opinions, encourages her clients to try something new. She convinces Aparna, who does not like lawyers, to meet one. She asks Vyasar to meet a woman 7 years older than him— something that was unheard of in India a few years ago. While many of her clients insist on marrying people from the same community, Sima asks Nadia, a Hindu from Guyana, to consider dating a Catholic man from Mumbai. 

The matchmaker even gets her clients to meet modern life coaches—or astrologers— and take a hard, honest look at their personalities.

Background checks

It is impossible to avoid fake profiles on dating websites, but Sima aunty takes a hefty amount to check each detail on the bio-data. She even visits her clients at home and looks at their kitchens, shoe closets and temples. If you are lying about being a sapiosexual, she WILL KNOW.

Ghosting is easier to deal with

Ghosting hurts a lot but you can’t call a Tinder helpline if someone stops responding to your messages. But Sima aunty is there for Nadia--even at 1 am.

She learns and adapts 

Older, professionally-unsuccessful men are not for Aparna. Sima might not agree with her client’s philosophy, but she never makes the mistake of showing her a similar profile again.

When she meets Delhi-based entrepreneur Ankita, the matchmaker quickly realises the limitations of her Indian database, which mostly constitutes men from traditional families. Instead of showing her inappropriate profiles, Sima decides to introduce Ankita to Geeta, a modern Delhi-based matchmaker. (Geeta turns out to be far from ideal though, and that episode does a good job showing the limitations of matchmakers.)

She chants for you—and brings you chocolates

Always a good idea.